Photos courtesy Richard Bryant

Wherever I go I never cease to be amazed to hear people say, “You can do that but I can’t.” They may be referring to learning a new skill, going back to school, starting a business, or anything they haven’t done before. My experience has been that everyone has the ability to set and achieve goals for themselves. I truly believe that if you can envision a goal, are willing to work for it, and feel that you deserve the rewards of your efforts that you can achieve that goal and more.

Yes, I agree that there are some physical and financial limits to what you can reasonably expect to achieve, but don’t let that stop you from thinking big.

What have you wanted to do that you have been making excuses about? What do you see others doing that makes you say to yourself, “That looks like fun, but I could never do that.”

As I write this, I am returning from a four day road trip from North Carolina to Florida with My Scuba Adventures. Our group consisted of 21 ordinary people from age 10 to 60+. We ventured to Florida to snorkel and SCUBA dive with the manatees. Five of the group finished their SCUBA course on the trip and returned as newly certified SCUBA divers! Every one of us could have made excuses as to why we couldn’t make the trip. We could have blamed finances, said we didn’t have the time, couldn’t get away from our families, or needed to be in better shape.

What’s the difference between anyone in the group and you? In my opinion, nothing. Among the members of our group were a family with young children, three diabetics, a married couple, a single mother, a recent widow, college students, a retiree, and a person with Parkinson’s disease. No one was wealthy or won the lottery to be there.

The one thing we all had in common was a willingness to overcome our fears and personal challenges. We stepped out of our comfort zones to do something new and enjoy ourselves. What will it take for you to decide that it’s time to step out of your comfort zone?

The New Year is generally a time when people examine their lives and make plans to fulfill unrealized dreams and goals. Make a promise to yourself. Never again say, “You can do that but I can’t.” Instead say to yourself, “That looks like something I really want to do, and I’m going to figure out how I can do it.”

PD is a progressive, neurologic disease for which western medicine currently has no cure. It’s different for everyone, but common symptoms of the latter stages are an almost complete loss of control of your body, an inability to communicate, and an inability to care for yourself. In the late stages of the disease, PD may cause complications such as choking, pneumonia, and falls that can lead to death. Yes, death from complications due to Parkinson’s disease. No wonder no one likes to talk about it.

I consider myself very lucky. I can still do just about everything I need or want to do. I was diagnosed in 2005 when I was 49, although looking back I believe that I had symptoms 7 – 10 years before that. If you and I were to meet at a party or in a restaurant you may not even notice that I have PD. My tremors are pretty well under control as long as I am on my medication, am rested, eat well, and not under stress. If any of those conditions are not met then I start to lose control of my body. I develop muscle spasms called dyskinesia. If you want to know what dyskinesia looks like think of Michael J. Fox. When you see uncontrolled movements like head twitches and flailing arms you’re seeing dyskinesia in action. I also develop problems speaking and begin to stutter and stammer. That’s not good for someone who is a public speaker. Prior to being diagnosed and starting medication I had what is called the Parkinson’s “mask”. That is an expressionless stare, which you may have seen in Muhammad Ali. Fortunately, my “mask” seems to be totally controlled with medication.

I, like many early stage people with Parkinson’s that I know, still get around very well. I still drive, work full time, and am physically active. What’s disheartening is watching other people that I have become friends with, many of whom are younger than me, going on disability and having brain surgery, yes brain surgery. DBS (Deep Brain Stimulation) surgery has been very effective in controlling PD for some people. Michael J. Fox and former Olympic cyclist Davis Phinney have both had DBS. I don’t even want to think about needing DBS yet.

What’s my average day like? When I wake up I generally feel rested and sometimes don’t even notice the tremors. I try to take my medication as soon as possible after waking up before the PD symptoms start. Once the tremors begin it’s harder to get them under control.

I am constantly aware of my body’s PD symptoms. Many times people around me may not notice that I am shaking, but I can feel it in my muscles. I constantly try to stay aware of my stress level, food intake, level of physical activity, and need for medication. It’s a balancing act that sometimes works well and sometimes gets out of balance.

What’s my attitude about the years to come? I am by nature a positive person. I cherish every day and refuse to focus on negative thoughts about the future. My feeling is that if I live my life concentrating on bad things that could happen, then I am missing the wonderful life available to me now.

Being diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2003 (my doctor now declares me cured) has enabled me to appreciate every minute of every day. I see a wonderful and fulfilling life ahead of me because I know that every day is a blessing.

Living with Parkinson’s, or I’m sure any chronic disease, is definitely an adjustment. The best way I’ve found to deal with it is to live my life to the fullest as best I can. It’s up to me to enjoy my days. Like I say in A Handbook for Life, “Life is a test. It’s a test of perseverance, a test of faith, and a test of will. I’ve decided to pass the test!”

Learn how to enjoy life every day.  You can reduce stress, relieve pain and be happier.  The videos on this page are from laughter therapy sessions conducted at the Southeastern Parkinson Disease Conference in Atlanta.  You and your group can learn to allow yourselves to laugh and relax too.

Contact Richard at rlondon@AHandBookForLife.com.

• “In everything we do someone else’s child watches us. Live your life to lead by example.” – adapted from a comment by Taylor Swift

• “If you think you’re too small to make a difference you haven’t spent a night with a mosquito.” – African Proverb

• “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” – Soren Kierkegaard

• “Education is not about answering questions. It’s about questioning answers.” – Sign on a college billboard

• “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” – Albert Schweitzer

• Mistakes can be great teachers: “I have learned more from my mistakes than my successes.” - Sir Humphry Davy

• Acronym for SUCCESS: Sense of direction, Understanding, Courage, Charity, Esteem, Self confidence, Self acceptance – Dr. Maxwell, Malz (Author of Psycho-Cybernetics) You can develop all of those traits if you try.

• “Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.” – Albert Einstein

• “You can’t procrastinate your way to success and happiness.” – Richard London

• Let go of your anger. “No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.” – George Jean Nathan

• “Experience is not what happens to you, it is what you do with what happens to you.” – Aldous Huxley

• Happiness is an inside job. Remember what Abraham Lincoln said, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

• “Only those who dare to fail greatly can achieve greatly.”- Robert F. Kennedy

• “The greater danger is not that your hopes are too high and you fail to reach them; it’s that they’re too low and you do.” – Michelangelo

• “It is not the things we do in life that we regret on our death bed. It is the things we did not do.” – Prof. Randy Pausch

• “INVEST (Ignore Negativity. Visualize Everyone Succeeding Today) in others.” – Derrick Hayes

• “If you have integrity nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity nothing else matters.” – Senator Allen Koois Simpson

• “People lose their health to make money, then lose their money to restore their health.” – Ajay Anand

• “Is everything you SAY(Speak About Yourself) Positive?” – Derrick Hayes

• “We must become the change we want to see.” – Mahatma Ghandi

Long ago I found some ways to help me reduce stress, be more productive and become better organized, as well as more rested.  These simple techniques can be used by anyone at any time.  Some people are turned off by terms such as meditation and self hypnosis, but in my experience they are just examples of two relaxation techniques that can be very effective in helping to settle your thoughts and regenerate your mind and body.

I learned Transcendental Meditation (TM) in the mid 1970’s and used it to help stay rested and focused while I worked full time during the days and went to college full time at night.  I later learned hypnosis and practiced hypnotherapy to help people reduce stress, quit smoking, and overcome various phobias.  I no longer practice hypnotherapy, but I do still meditate and perform self hypnosis to relax and get a better handle on business and my life.

As my present to you I have recorded an 11 minute relaxation session for you to use to help unwind and organize your life. Are you willing to treat yourself to 11 minutes of private time where you can let go of your problems and obligations of the day? Are you ready to let someone guide you through a safe, peaceful journey to less stress, serenity, and confidence?

If so, turn off your cell phone, get to a quiet place and let’s begin.

Click HERE to Listen.

Now that you have experienced what it’s like to relax in this way would you like to know how to have that serenity every day?  Make a commitment to set aside just eleven minutes a day for the next two weeks to listen to that recording.  It may seem like you’re too busy to take time to relax like this, but I guarantee that by dedicating a little time to yourself every day that you will be happier, less stressed and more productive in the long run.  Give it a try.

I think the lesson we can learn today is one of active caring and concern for people everywhere that are faced with losing a loved one. I lost my father about two and a half months ago, but I can’t even begin to understand what it is like to wake up one morning and suddenly be told that my child, spouse, parent or sibling was killed as a victim of a terrible hate crime. I feel for the families and am strengthened by their ability to move on past this horrible tragedy in their lives.

I’m sure that it hasn’t been easy, and that some of them still feel an unbearable sorrow in their hearts. But, my faith in human kindness and in the resiliency of the human spirit is renewed by seeing the outpouring of love and caring by individuals all across this great nation.

Click HERE to read more about the conference and register for the event.

We all have reasons, or should I say excuses, for not making the positive changes that we say we want in our lives.  We become comfortable with what we have, good and bad.  For me, when I finally take time to sit quietly and reflect on my life I see the things that I may want to change.  But, if I am really honest with myself I realize that by staying in my daily comfort zone I am not making any progress toward achieving them.    I may still be enjoying specific activities, but if I stop and really evaluate my actions I realize that by not getting out of my comfort zone I am procrastinating away great opportunities for change.

One key point that I learned a long time ago is that you can’t procrastinate your way to success and happiness.  We all need to recognize that effecting positive changes may involve taking steps out of our comfort zones.  Evaluate the benefits of making the change.  Decide that the rewards of achieving your dreams and goals will exceed the effort (and possible fear) of doing something new.

I have written about the fear of failure and how to overcome it.  Get comfortable taking on new challenges and get excited about the rewards of achieving your goals, whatever they may be.

You may have heard the quote that, “If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten.”  Understand that you may have to change your behavior and get out of your comfort zone to begin making changes in your life.  Get comfortable outside of your comfort zone.

The time to start is now.  Ask yourself what you want and write out a plan on how to get it.  Then start working that plan today.

On Tuesday, April 19, 2011 Richard London fulfilled that promise. Richard’s hope is that you use his achievement as an inspiration to accomplish a goal or overcome an obstacle in your life.
Click HERE for more videos of the test.

In this business environment where people are expected to work harder and produce more with less resources how do you keep morale up and motivate your employees? Another question you may ask is, “What can I do to show my customers that my company is different from the competition?”

Motivational Speaker/Author Richard London will help you inspire your staff and customers to achieve more and overcome obstacles in their business and personal lives. And right now you can book a personalized seminar for your company with no cash outlay.

For a limited time we have made a deal with Great Trade Solutions to provide personalized seminars for your business at 100% barter. That means you can get a personalized motivational presentation for your business with no cash outlay from you.

Richard’s attitude is infectious. Everyone will leave your event uplifted and knowing that they can accomplish more. What’s more, they will remember that you and your company helped them feel that way.

Call Richard London directly at 704-562-6810 or email him at rlondon@AHandBookForLife.com for more details.

If any of the above sounds like your life then join the club. So many people that I talk to these days are overwhelmed with the pace of their lives. They feel that there is so much to do that they never have any “me time”. They say that they want to slow down life so they can enjoy it more. Many people feel that they are doing too much and need to cut down on their activities so they can have some fun. The problem is that they don’t know what to cut out. To me the answer is not always to slow the pace by cutting anything out of my daily routine, but sometimes to appreciate what I am doing when I am doing it and realize something that a wise life coach once taught me.

Several years ago life was overwhelming me. Between work, family, financial issues, and personal obligations I felt that I had no control over my time. I wanted to relax more and be in control of how I spent my days. The life coach sat me down and had me prepare a list of how I spent my time during a normal week. Then he had me make a pie chart so I could graphically see what percentage of my week was spent doing what. Next he asked me what I wanted to cut out. After we went over each item and I justified to him why each one was important I was more frustrated than ever. It seemed like I would always be stuck doing the things I needed to do and not have time for the things that I wanted to do. In short, I would never get to enjoy that elusive “me time”.

Then he told me that actually everything on my list was “me time”. I gave him a puzzled look. He pointed out that I was already choosing how to spend my time. I was setting the priority to every task and activity that I did, whether it was a fun activity or an obligation that I felt was being imposed on me by someone else. Slowly I realized what he was saying. I was in control of ALL of my time, even the time spent doing things that I felt I had to do. Since that day I can honestly say that I am less stressed. I enjoy each day more because I know that I have the power to choose how much time I spend with each activity. I no longer feel that other people are in control of my time.

Realize that you are already in control of your life and your schedule. Don’t be afraid to back off a little from the tasks that are stressing you. Understand that there are limits to what you can do in a given day and it is OK to not get everything done at once. When you are doing something that you feel pressured to do then ask yourself how it fits into the scheme of what is on your schedule at that point in time. Once you set your own priorities to the tasks of the day then I think you will feel more in control, and understand that what you are doing in any given moment is truly your desision.

As he lies in the ICU and is on a ventilator he is still conscious and fighting. He is a role model for how I approach my life challenges. Yes, I have Parkinson’s disease, am a cancer survivor, have aches and pains and have less stamina than ever, but I refuse to pout about the challenges in my life. I may be slowing down, but I will not quit.

I have learned that my body has limits and I have to respect that, but I will push those limits as much as I can. I truly believe that a major reason my Parkinson’s disease hasn’t progressed much since my diagnosis in 2005 is that I stay as active as possible. I earned my jujutsu black belt this year, went SCUBA diving, white water rafting, and rock climbing. I work out 2 – 3 times a week, go dancing regularly with my wife and play airsoft (like paintball) when I can. My neurologist told me when I was first diagnosed with Parkinson’s that I should stay as active as possible. “If you don’t use it you’ll lose it,” he said.

I have told people that when I reviewed the first draft of my book, A Handbook for Life, I was surprised to find that I didn’t mention cancer or Parkinson’s once. When I thought about it I understood that I didn’t mention my health challenges because I don’t let them define me.

Decide what you want out of life and what will make you happy. Don’t dwell on your problems, no matter how large they may seem. Life is precious and too short. My advice is to do something that you enjoy every day. If you do that you’ll be surprised how much you’ll enjoy the weeks , months, and years.

One of the activities I participated in taught me an unexpected lesson about life and taking ourselves too seriously.  The activity was a game show that they called The Quest.   There were about 700 people in the audience and we were broken up into ten sections.  The emcee asked for one male and one female volunteer from each section to be a team captain.

Since I was there to have a good time I immediately stood up and became the male captain for our section of about 70 people.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  All I knew when I arrived was that it was a game for adults only.  The concept of the game was a scavenger hunt.  The emcee explained the rules.  He would ask for an object and either the male or female team captain would have to get the object from their group and run it up to the front of the room.  Each team would receive points for producing the object.  The faster your team was the more points you received.  That seemed innocuous enough.

The requests started out very simple and got progressively more embarrassing.  I think you can imagine the roar of the crowd when the female captains had to run up to the front of the room in a pair of man’s jeans, or when the male captain had to run up with lipstick on him.  I’m not going to relate all of the scavenger items or antics that went on, but suffice it to say that the energy was high and the competition to be the winning team was fierce, despite whatever embarrassing objects we were asked to retrieve.

At the end, the top three winning teams were announced and our team was not mentioned.  At first I was disappointed.  We had worked so hard to win, to be successful.  Our entire team had tried the best we could but we failed, or did we?

As I thought about the game later that night I realized that enjoying ourselves during the event was the real prize.  I was able to step back and realize that the event itself was part of the reward.

Too often we tend to define our lives by successful results and not the experiences we encounter during the journey.  In reality I have discovered that my “failures” frequently became learning tools.  I have also realized that we can’t expect anything more of ourselves than to do the best we can.

If you tried your best then you should be proud of what you accomplished.  Don’t let yourself be overcome by thinking that you’ve failed.  Find a way to step back from the frantic pace of life and enjoy the journey.  Carl Lewis who won the gold medal for the long jump in the 1996 Olympic games said, “… you have both wins and losses along the way. I don’t take either one too seriously.”

His first owner also did not think that he could survive and was thinking of ‘putting him to sleep’.  But then, his present owner, Jude Stringfellow, met him and wanted to take care of him.  She became determined to teach and train this little dog to walk by himself.  She named him ‘Faith’.

In the beginning, she put Faith on a surfboard to let him feel the movement.  Later she used peanut butter on a spoon as a lure and reward for him for standing up and jumping around.
Even the other dog at home encouraged him to walk. Amazingly, only after 6 months, like a miracle, Faith learned to balance on his hind legs and to jump to move forward. After further training in the snow, he could now walk like a human being..

Faith loves to walk around now.  No matter where he goes, he attracts people to him.  He is fast becoming famous on the international scene and has appeared on various newspapers and TV shows.  There is now a book entitled With a Little Faith being published about him.  He was even considered to appear in one of the Harry Potter movies.

His present owner Jude Stringfellew has given up her teaching post and plans to take him around the world to preach that even without a perfect body, one can have a perfect soul.  In life there are always undesirable things, so in order to feel better you just need to look at life from another direction.  I hope this message will bring fresh new ways of thinking to everyone and that everyone will appreciate and be thankful for each beautiful day.
Faith is the continual demonstration of the strength and wonder of life.

A small request: All you are asked to do is keep this story circulating.

During the past few months while speaking with him on the phone on an almost daily basis it had become obvious to me the he was becoming weaker and weaker. I felt strongly that I needed to make the trip from North Carolina to Florida to see him as quickly as possible. I wanted to spend time with him before he lost any more strength or mobility.

I arrived from the airport fearing the worst about my father’s condition. At first glance it appeared as if my fears were correct. My father was a man who in my childhood was 6’4” with broad shoulders and bigger than life. I now saw a man who was appreciably thinner, pale, with gray hair. He reminded me very much of my grandfather in his later years.

As the weekend progressed and my father and I spoke, I was struck by his determination and will to keep on fighting. While the side effects of the chemotherapy were severe, dehumanizing and bordered on debilitating, I could tell that rather than be embarrassed by his predicament he was just determined to get past what he viewed as a temporary condition.

He fully expects to return to his normal, daily life and refuses to feel sorry for himself. As I thought about it I realized that his practical approach to crises and refusal to let his ego stand in the way of a solution to a problem has been a role model to me my entire life. I’ve never heard him ask, “Why me?”. In fact he’s explained in the past that questioning why a situation is what it is usually does nothing to bring about a resolution to the problem.

I left North Carolina fearing that this would be the last time I would see my father. I left Florida filled with the belief that this strong willed, 79 year old man that I love has the desire and will to keep on fighting despite continued physical discomfort. As long as the chemotherapy can control his cancer I am sure that he will continue his positive and practical approach to living his life to the fullest. Now that’s a philosophy we could all learn from.

Thanks dad.

Embracing My Journey is a blog offering motivation & inspiration for living a life full of purpose and passion!

Created in 2008 by Caryn FitzGerald, EmbracingMyJourney.com includes posts from incredible individuals worldwide sharing their wisdom, their personal experiences and their blessings with the world.

What is embarrassment? The dictionary definition of embarrassment is: to feel self-conscious or ill at ease. We all have an image of ourselves and how we want to be perceived by others. Sometimes we’re afraid of what other people will think when we do or say something that does not quite meet the image we have of our perfect selves.

What most people don’t understand is that embarrassment is only a state of mind, and in my opinion you can control whether or not you are embarrassed by a situation. It would be very easy for me to let myself be embarrassed when I am speaking to others, either in a group or one on one. I have Parkinson’s disease (PD) and it causes me to not only shake, but also sway from side to side. Sometimes the Parkinson’s symptoms are worse than others, but I can always tell that they’re there.

I used to be self conscious about my PD symptoms until I received some excellent advice from Lou Solomon, founder of Interact Authentically in Charlotte, NC. Lou’s main focus is on helping people find their authentic style. She told me about an executive who was taking one of her public speaking courses. The executive had a problem. Whenever he made a presentation he would become emotional. His voice would crack and it seemed like he would begin to cry. He found this quite embarrassing and out of place for a business environment. Lou’s advice to him was not to be embarrassed by his condition, but to embrace it. As soon as the executive stopped trying to make excuses for his behavior he was able to embrace his emotions and make a connection to his audiences.

As a teenager I experienced embarrassment of a different kind. When I was 19 years old I was hit by a car and severely fractured my left leg. As a result I had six operations including four skin grafts. My left leg was severely scarred and I had scars on my thigh from the donor sites of the skin grafts. As you can imagine, I was very self conscious about being seen in shorts or a bathing suit when I was in my early twenties and single. Eventually I came to the realization that I couldn’t change the way my leg looked and that I didn’t owe an explanation to anyone. As the saying goes, “I realized that it is what it is.” There was no reason for me to be embarrassed about something that I couldn’t change and it really didn’t matter what anyone else thought about how it looked.

Take a look at what is embarrassing you in your life. What is it you are not doing because you’re afraid of what other people will think? Don’t let embarrassment hold you back. Be proud of your authentic style. As long as you are doing your best you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Remember, nobody can make you feel embarrassed without your permission.

I believe that the biggest reason people have a fear of failure is not that they are afraid that they’ll waste their time or even their money. I believe that they are afraid of embarrassing themselves. The interesting thing is that embarrassment is a state of mind. No one can make you feel embarrassed without your permission. If you understand that failure is a normal part of success then you should be willing to fail repeatedly while you are on your path to your goals. Don’t be embarrassed or make apologies for failing. Just evaluate what went wrong and try again.
“Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.” – Confucius

In my seminars I give people the confidence that they can and should succeed. I help them develop the mindset that if they take pride in their efforts and enjoy the journey that the results will take care of themselves.

Here is a list of some well known and well respected failures from throughout history. Would you be willing to persevere through their failures to reach their successes?

• Winston Churchill failed sixth grade. He was subsequently defeated in every election for public office until he became Prime Minister at the age of 62.
• Charles Darwin wrote, “I was considered by all my masters and my father, a very ordinary boy, rather below the common standard of intellect.”
• Thomas Edison’s teachers said he was “too stupid to learn anything.” He was fired from his first two jobs for being “non-productive.”

• Albert Einstein did not speak until he was 4-years-old and did not read until he was 7. His parents thought he was “sub-normal,” and one of his teachers described him as “mentally slow, unsociable, and adrift forever in foolish dreams.” He was expelled from school.
• Henry Ford failed and went broke five times before he succeeded.

• R. H. Macy failed seven times before his store in New York City caught on.

• An expert said of Vince Lombardi: “He possesses minimal football knowledge and lacks motivation.” Lombardi would later write, “It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get back up.”

• Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. Jordan once observed, “I’ve failed over and over again in my life. That is why I succeed.”

• Babe Ruth is famous for his past home run record, but for decades he also held the record for strikeouts. He hit 714 home runs and struck out 1,330 times in his career (about which he said, “Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.”). (John Wooden once explained that winners make the most errors.)

• After Carl Lewis won the gold medal for the long jump in the 1996 Olympic games. He was asked to what he attributed his longevity, having competed for almost 20 years. He said, “Remembering that you have both wins and losses along the way. I don’t take either one too seriously.”

• Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because he, “…lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” He went bankrupt several times before he built Disneyland. In fact, the proposed park was rejected by the city of Anaheim on the grounds that it would only attract riffraff.

• Charles Schultz had every cartoon he submitted rejected by his high school yearbook staff. Oh, and Walt Disney wouldn’t hire him.

• After Fred Astaire’s first screen test, the memo from the testing director of MGM, dated 1933, read, “Can’t act. Can’t sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little.” Astaire kept that memo over the fire place in his Beverly Hills home. Astaire once observed that “when you’re experimenting, you have to try so many things before you choose what you want, that you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion.” And here is the reward for perseverance: “The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of them, it’s considered to be your style.”

• After his first audition, Sidney Poitier was told by the casting director, “Why don’t you stop wasting people’s time and go out and become a dishwasher or something?” It was at that moment, recalls Poitier, that he decided to devote his life to acting. (What will failure motivate you to do in your life?)

• When Lucille Ball began studying to be actress in 1927, she was told by the head instructor of the John Murray Anderson Drama School, “Try any other profession.”

• The first time Jerry Seinfeld walked on-stage at a comedy club as a professional comic, he looked out at the audience, froze, and forgot the English language. He stumbled through “a minute-and a half” of material and was jeered offstage. He returned the following night and closed his set to wild applause.

• Enrico Caruso’s music teacher said he had no voice at all and could not sing. His parents wanted him to become an engineer.

• Van Gogh sold only one painting during his life. And this to the sister of one of his friends for 400 francs (approximately $50). This didn’t stop him from completing over 800 paintings.

• John Milton wrote Paradise Lost 16 years after losing his eyesight.

Don’t let the fear of failure stop you from achieving greatness in your life!

We all have a tendency to compare ourselves to the people around us, I know that I do. The problem is that we evaluate others based on what they did and we evaluate ourselves by what we wanted to do but haven’t done yet. We don’t judge another person by what is on their to do list, why should we judge ourselves that way?

This article is about being fair to yourself. You may have heard the expression, “We see others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions”, but have you ever really thought about it? Is it really fair to expect yourself to be perfect and to get everything done that is on your mind every day? I don’t think so.

Accept the fact that you are doing the best you can at the present moment. This is not an excuse for being lazy. I think we all owe it to ourselves to be as productive as possible every day, but also to learn how to feel good about what we were able to accomplish and not stress over what we have left to do. Understand that you will get to everything that’s important in its proper time.

When I start to judge myself by what I wanted to do and not by what I did I remember the expression, “Progress not Perfection.” Why beat yourself up about what you haven’t done yet? If you know that you will do it then feel good about scheduling the time. If you can’t get to it because of other obligations then understand that you can only do so much in a given day.

Click here for brochure

As many of you know, I am a former police officer and have taught and trained in the martial arts for over 24 years. Recently, the Illinois Air National Guard contacted me to teach self defense for Air National Guard personnel and their families. In designing a curriculum for the families of the Guard personnel I began thinking about the unique perspective that I have on self defense from the experience of someone who walked on crutches and with a cane for ten months, and who currently lives with Parkinson’s disease.

My belief is that traditional martial arts training required more physical conditioning and practice than the average person was willing or able to commit to. What was lacking in my opinion was a seminar for someone with no martial arts experience and especially for women, the elderly and people with minor physical disabilities. I felt that people needed to feel safe wherever they go and that everyone can learn to defend themselves no matter what their physical abilities may or may not be.

As a result, I developed a program entitled Self Defense for the Seemingly Defenseless. I have identified some practical and basic self defense techniques that I teach in a two hour seminar. My goal is not to make someone a martial arts expert, but that by learning these basic, simple techniques that anyone will be able to escape from the most common types of attacks.

I am excited about offering this program to groups and individuals. Please click HERE to view a brochure or feel free to contact me at rlondon@AHandBookForLife.com for more information.

Thank you for letting me serve you.

Richard London

Civil Air Patrol (CAP) is the civilian auxiliary of the US Air Force. Richard London holds the rank of Major and has volunteered for CAP since November 2001.

Richard was a keynote speaker at the 2010 Parkinson’s Disease Conference and National Young Onset Conference in Atlanta in October 2010 and has already been asked to speak at the 2011 conference. He also was the volunteer coordinator for the Parkinson Association of the Carolinas at the Davis Phinney Victory Summit in Charlotte on June 2010 and has been a featured speaker on the Parkinson’s Recovery’s blog radio show and was published in their January 2010 Parkinson’s Recovery magazine.

CLICK HERE to read the magazine article.

Recently, medical bills started piling up from a surgery that I had. Stuff started breaking at some of my rental properties and a tenant left six months before the end of her lease. It seemed that just when I started getting ahead with my bills I got hit with over $5000 in unexpected expenses. Does any of that sound familiar to you?

At first it was overwhelming, then I stopped and asked myself, “What would I tell someone if they came to me at one of my seminars with this situation?” I looked at the personal affirmations that I read out loud every day. My affirmations talk about my financial successes and my personal and professional goals for the future.

I was amazed at how just by repeatedly reading my affirmations I changed my attitude about my present situation by focusing on my future successes. Focusing on the future kept me motivated and action oriented. Saying the affirmations reminded me that all problems are temporary and gave me the positive attitude I needed to not be paralyzed by my current challenges.

I’m not saying that if you repeat positive affirmations that your problems will go away, but I have found that reminding yourself of the big picture and your long term goals can help you persevere and find solutions to the short term crises in your life.

So much of our stress during the holidays, and year round, is self imposed.  We get stressed out when our expectations of what we should be doing don’t line up with what we are doing in that moment.  Don’t let yourself be a slave to your to do list or your worries about what other people will think of you.  Be satisfied with trying the best you can.  You don’t have to impress anyone else.

I try to enjoy every moment of every day.  I hope you’ll agree with me that life is too short to walk around stressed out all the time.  Try to remember that when you are standing in a long line while shopping.  Can you make a commitment to bring a smile to someone else’s face wherever you go?  This could be as easy as starting a pleasant conversation with your waitress at a restaurant, the person behind you in line at the grocery store or the person you hold the door open for at the mall.

Try it and I think you find that by the end of the day you will be happier, feel better about yourself and be less stressed.  These are simple things, but they work for me.

How can you stay positive when it seems like you are facing obstacles no matter what you do? To me, happiness and success in any venture begins with a decision to enjoy life’s journey. I find that when I can enjoy the journey to my goal then I concentrate on my actions, which I can control, and not on the negative factors around me which I may not be able to control. Accept the fact that there will be challenges and look past them. Take stock of your strengths and be thankful for what you can and have accomplished in the past. Use your past successes to motivate yourself to not give up.

I am a strong proponent of setting clear goals. Having a goal gives you a focus. I have found that when I am focused on achieving a goal then I don’t make excuses about being too tired, not having enough time, or whatever. You may not reach every goal that you set for yourself, but don’t let that keep you from trying.

Enjoy the journey, anticipate your rewards and take pride in overcoming the challenges you may face.  Be sure to let me know how you do.

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It sounds like you may have a fear of failure. You may be secretly thinking, “What will my friends and family think if I don’t succeed?”, or “Will I make a fool of myself if this doesn’t work?” That fear of embarrassment can be immobilizing. The way that I have overcome thoughts like that is to find someone who is supportive and has had success in the area in which I want to pursue. Try finding a mentor to work with on a one to one basis, attend a seminar, buy a DVD course or just read some books. Obviously, the more personal the connection you have with your mentor the better, but find one or more successful role models that you can emulate. Being able to see how others have succeeded can give you the confidence to believe in your own success.

Maybe you’ve started working towards your goal several times and then just when you seem to be reaching it something happens that stops you in your tracks. It may seem that life is conspiring to keep you from succeeding. Have you ever taken the time to examine a common theme to those roadblocks? Maybe you are subconsciously sabotaging yourself. Rather than have a fear of failure you may have a fear of success. A fear of success can be deceiving because you may not even realize what you are doing.

If you think that might be what’s been holding you back then try what I do. Find a quiet place where you can think without being disturbed. Take out a piece of paper and write down your version of the following questions:
*      What am I doing that is keeping me from succeeding?
*      How will things positively change for me when I reach my goal?
*      Do I deserve to have success in this area? If not, then why not and how can I change that?

If you are comfortable meditating then you can meditate on those questions, or just take ten minutes to think about the questions and write down your gut feelings as to what the answers might be.

You may have both a fear of failure and a fear of success, but you don’t have to let either one of them permanently stop you from achieving the goals in your life.

My father taught me a valuable lesson. No matter how stressful things got at work he would always allow himself the freedom of leaving his problems at the office. And by the way, he wasn’t a 9 to 5 office clerk. He owned his own business and had the responsibility of making sure that everything was working well at all times.

I have learned that whenever I let myself get away from the fast paced days at work I was able to clear my head and think more creatively. I would often find solutions to problems that had been nagging me for a long time.

I endured many stressful years in business before I felt comfortable taking off an entire week from work at one time. I understand if you might be uncomfortable being away from the office for that long. You might try taking mini vacations if you can. Try three or four day weekends at least once every quarter.

I know, it may take you three days just to relax enough to enjoy yourself. Think about this, if you didn’t let your stress build up so high to begin with maybe it would be easier to let go and have some fun.

Many people don’t realize that Richard London is a Major in the Civil Air Patrol (USAF Auxiliary). CAP flies 95% of all inland search and rescue missions in the United States. Rich joined CAP immediately after 9/11 because, like many Americans, he felt a need to help.

Major London’s contributions to CAP were recently recognized in their national on-line magazine.  Read the story of Rich’s participation in CAP HERE

We have found that the best way is either to order from this web site on the store page or to click on this link: Barnes and Noble.com.

Either way, we appreciate your purchasing A Handbook for Life and trust that it will help you find the motivation to overcome the challenges you face and help you achieve your goals.

A Handbook for Life was released in January and has been very well received as a practical guide to help people improve their relationships, overcome obstacles and set goals in their lives.

I just received a shipment of the revised edition with the new cover. I still have books with the old cover that I don’t want to sell. Instead, I want to have a contest to give them away. If you or your organization could use the books to help someone else then email me at rlondon@AHandBookForLife.com and tell me how you think the books can help and who will use them.

I have ten books to give away and we have identified five individuals based on the emails that I received to present the books to. That means that five more lucky people could win a book. The deadline to request a book for yourself or your organization has been extended to October 19, 2010.

Good luck.

Richard London

We all seem to make excuses for not changing the status quo. I remember when my wife and I were talking about having our first child. We were excited about the wonderful experiences awaiting us as new parents. Heaven knows that our parents were in favor of the idea. But, something always seemed to get in the way of picking the right time to start our family. I needed to have a higher salary. We needed a bigger house and a bigger car. We needed more money in the bank.

Looking back on these reasons I now can see how they were very probably excuses for not making a change in our lives. Think about what changes you may be avoiding in your life. What has kept you from asking for a raise or looking for that better job? When do you plan on going back to school? When are YOU going to start that family?

I realize that all of these decisions are very personal ones. I just want you to think about what is stopping you from making changes in your life TODAY. In my opinion, you will never find that “right” time when everything is perfect to make a major change in your life, but if you don’t take action now then when will you?

A friend of mine has a great saying. He says, “Make a decision and then make that decision right.” Coach Vincent Williams, author of How Do I Reach My True Destiny? says, “Change is a process, but the decision to change happens in an instant.”

Decide what it is that you want to do. Recognize that you may have been tropophobic. Do something today as a concrete action towards your personal goals. I predict that you’ll feel much better after you take that first step and overcome that fear of change.

The problem is that the victim’s body was never found. In his closing argument the defense attorney got up to address the jury. He announced, “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, in exactly sixty seconds the supposed victim, the man my client is accused of murdering, will walk through the door at the back of this court room.” With that he paused for a second and started counting.

“One. Two. Three.” The jurors’ eyes looked intently at the door. On he went and finally, “Fifty-seven. Fifty-eight. Fifty-nine. Sixty.” And then nothing happened. No one entered the court room. The defense attorney turned to the jury and said, “Ladies and gentlemen I apologize. I told you something that obviously did not come true. However, the mere fact that you stared at the door showed me that you had some measure of doubt. And, if you had any doubt at all you MUST find my client innocent.” With that the defense attorney triumphantly took his seat.

The jury left the court room and began their deliberation. They deliberated for only five minutes and then returned. The foreman of the jury faced the judge and said that they had reached a verdict. “Guilty,” he pronounced.

The defense attorney was livid. He stood up, faced the jury and demanded, “How could you find my client guilty? I saw you watch that door!”

The foreman replied, “Yes sir, you are correct. We did watch the door, but we also watched you and your client. Neither one of you watched the door. That’s because you knew there was no chance that the victim would walk into this court room. Why should we believe you if you don’t even believe yourself?”

Believe in yourself and your goals. If you don’t believe that your goals are possible and worthwhile then you can’t expect anyone else to.

I recently had what seemed like a string of financial bad luck. I had over $3,000 in unanticipated car repair bills, I was spending money for marketing my business that was not generating the results that I had expected and new business seemed to be drying up. As a motivational speaker I felt an obligation to maintain faith in being able to solve my problems, but how can having faith help you if you aren’t quite sure about it’s affect on seemingly mystical unseen forces? That’s what got me thinking about the practical side of faith. As a practical matter, and for purposes of this discussion, I would like to equate having faith with having a positive attitude.

Without a positive attitude you may find yourself getting wrapped up in the apparent bad luck that you might be experiencing. I find that if I allow myself to focus on negative issues that my mental energy is drawn towards the problems in my life. When my focus is on a lack of money, a health issue, a problem at work, or problems with the people around me then I find that the situations seem to get worse and worse. However, when I allow myself to have faith that everything will work out and that a solution is at hand, when I embrace a positive attitude and find the silver lining in the cloud that seems to be surrounding me, then I become solution oriented. I realize that all problems are temporary, that in many cases I have gotten through much worse situations in the past and that I will get through current situation also.

Not only do I feel better about my current situation, because I realize that it’s temporary, but by accepting the fact that there is a solution coming, I begin putting positive energy towards resolving the problem more quickly. As a result, not only do I feel better about my situation, but I find that I am more motivated to do something to resolve the issues at hand.

You may or may not believe that you can tap into the positive energy of the universe to change your circumstances. Regardless, hopefully you’ll agree that by having faith that solutions exist to your current problems, then you’ll be more creative in working towards finding those solutions. Maybe then you’ll see the benefit in having faith as a practical tool in your life.

I used to think that for me to consider someone a friend that I needed to have known them for a long time or we needed to have a lot of shared experiences. As I have gotten older I have come to realize that I have the ability to choose my friends even after just meeting the person for the first time. Yes, I have good friends that I have known since high school, but I also have met a lot of quality people in the last few years that I am proud to call my friend.

I believe that categorizing someone as a friend is a choice that we all have. To me, sharing myself with someone else and bringing them into my circle of friends is a very freeing and uplifting experience. I am opening my heart to that person and sharing a part of myself. I then am honored and touched when they allow me to share in their life also. Occasionally, I find that my offer of friendship is not reciprocated. That’s OK because everyone has a right to their own opinion. I accept the relationship for what it is and continue to be open to other people.

I feel strongly that life is too short harbor bitterness or jealousy towards anyone. My life is full in large part because I am willing to extend the hand of friendship to everyone that I meet. Why don’t you try it? You might like it.

Why does life have to be so hard?  Why do stressful situations keep appearing? Why aren’t I progressing the way I want to at work? Why do my kids constantly need to be reminded of their responsibilities?  Why don’t I have enough money to buy that special thing that I want?

You could probably add to the list with many similar questions of your own.   I found that the mere act of asking those questions added to my stress level.  I don’t think any of us wants to add to the stress in our lives.  So, how do we reduce stress levels and find ways to deal with the challenges of life?

I do two things.  First, I don’t ask myself “Why?”   I ask myself, “How important is this?”, and if it is important to me then I ask, “How can I change this?”  I try to put every problem into its proper perspective.  Many times when I take a closer look at a problem, regardless of how critical it may seem to be, I realize that it’s just a short term inconvenience and not worth my agonizing over.  Ask yourself if the problem is just an annoyance or something that really needs to be fixed.  Then, if you decide that you do need to take some action ask yourself questions like, “How can I fix this?” rather than, “Why is this happening to me?”

Second, when I am really overwhelmed by the challenges in my life I make a gratitude list.  You may have heard about gratitude lists and thought something like, “That’s a lot of B.S. and won’t work for me.”  Well, have you ever tried it?  I have.

Maybe you can relate to some of the issues I have used a gratitude list to help cope with.  On several occasions my wife and I lost our jobs, once within a month of each other.  I have had some very serious medical issues.  I recently added up all of the surgeries in my life and counted 15.  My son had a brain hematoma when he was two and then some additional medical issues later in life.

Maybe you are saying that your issues are worse.  That’s OK.  My point is not to compare struggles, but to explain how a gratitude list has helped me cope instead of being overwhelmed.  Rather than focusing on what I don’t have or what challenge or pain I am living through, the gratitude list lets me give thanks for things like the roof over my head, food on the table, my loving wife, my friends or whatever.

I found that taking time to give thanks for the good things in my life helps me to have the belief that I will get past the immediate crisis that I am facing.

So, my two secrets to handling stress in life are:
1. Ask yourself, “How important is this?”, and if it is important then ask, “How can I change this?”
2. Make a gratitude list that you can read when you are overwhelmed so you will be reminded that things are not as bad as they may seem.

Give those a try.  I found them to help relieve the stress in life even when things seem to be at their worst.

We are excited that a title search for A Handbook for Life at www.BarnesAndNoble.com. and www.BN.com. now return our book on the first page. Thank you Barnes and Noble!

See the Rich’s link and bio information by clicking HERE.

Another day they heard the trap door close again. This time the trap captured a skunk. But the skunk didn’t go out of control. “He slowly and methodically checked out every inch of the trap, then turned back to the bait and proceeded to eat it. He then groomed his paws and face. Then he… pulled in grass and roots. He meticulously piled and pushed and formed the grass and roots into a nest… After working for about half an hour, he curled up in a ball, and went to sleep.”

When you feel trapped by life do you act like a skunk or a squirrel? I suggest that we can all take a lesson from the skunk who, rather than go crazy, found a way to eat a good meal, build a bed and get some rest.

There’s no use running around in a panic. Take some time to assess your situation and make the most of it. I think you’d be amazed to find out that most of the time life is as stressful as you make it.

Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach,VA

Rich was the local volunteer coordinator representing the Parkinson Association of the Carolinas.

The Davis Phinney Foundation is dedicated to providing a higher quality of life to PWP as well as helping to fund research into a cure for Parkinson’s disease.

Pictured with Rich is Davis Phinney who is a former Olympic bronze medal winner, Tour de France bicyclist and fellow person with Parkinsons.

You ask yourself, “When will this stop?” No matter how many self help books you may read or how much positive self talk you try to invent, at some point you just want to scream. Well, I feel it’s OK to have a pity party once in a while, but I think that it’s important to put a limit on the party. A time limit that is. Try giving yourself five to no more than ten minutes to pout, scream, feel sorry for yourself or even cry. You may want to write down all of the reasons that you feel justify your anger or frustration. Let yourself get it all out.

Once you have a chance to vent your feelings, it’s time to get past them. Take a deep breath. Think about how your current problems are really temporary in the larger scheme of life. Maybe it will make you feel better if you write down a list of things you are grateful for. This may be a good time to sit quietly and think about solutions to your current problems, or how you can prevent similar situations from occurring in the future.

Yes, I believe you are entitled to have a pity party occasionally, but use it as an opportunity to let go of your frustrations and not immerse yourself in them. Don’t forget the party hats.

We make excuses.  We say things like, “I’ll look into that new business when things slow down at work.  I’m too busy, I don’t have enough time to exercise.  We’ll have the baby after we get a bigger car.”

My feeling is that if you are waiting for “the right time” that it will never come.  Coach Vincent Williams, author of How Do I Reach My True Destiny? says that, “Change is a process, but the decision to change happens in an instant.”

Make the decision to change now.  A good friend of mine who is an action oriented person has a philosophy.  His philosophy is to make a decision and then make the decision right.  Don’t wait for everything to be perfect before you make positive changes in your life.  Make the decision to start working towards your goals and dreams today.  Once you’ve made the first move it’s easier to take the next step.  You have to start sometime, so why not now?

Let me know what change you are starting today.

Before we can talk about how to develop faith, we need to decide what faith is.  My definition is that: Faith is the belief that something is real before you have concrete evidence of its existence.

For purposes of this discussion I want to talk about faith in terms of achieving goals and not in a religious context.  When you set a goal and start working towards it you must already have some belief (faith) that you will succeed.  Why else would you begin working towards that goal?  That initial faith is what gets you started.  To fully develop your faith, let yourself get excited about reaching your goal.  Believe in yourself and in your mission.  Don’t worry about all of the steps you will need to take to accomplish the goal, just take the first logical steps toward it.

Foster and grow your faith by celebrating even your small victories along the way.  If something goes according to your plan or you encounter an unexpected success then use that as a sign that you are on the right path.  Believe in the outcome and let yourself get excited about reaching your goal.

View the inevitable setbacks as learning experiences.  Allow them to strengthen your resolve to achieve your goal and use them as a means to appreciate your successes even more.

Keep your faith alive by protecting yourself from negative influences, especially well meaning friends and family who may try to tell you that you won’t succeed.

When you can visualize yourself achieving your goal and stay excited about the rewards that are waiting for you, then no one will be able to convince you that you can’t succeed.  That success attitude my friend is your faith in action.

Over time I realized that being jealous of what other people have or do is totally nonproductive and does nothing to improve my life in any way. When I spent time envying what other people had I became caught up in my emotional energy and never did anything to improve my situation.

Eventually, I came to the conclusion that I shouldn’t be jealous about what someone else has, but I should be happy and excited about it. The reality is that if that person was able to acquire whatever it was that I was admiring then that meant I could figure out how to get it too. I turned my jealousy into positive energy and used it as a creative force to help me achieve that goal for myself.

I ask you to think about jealousy in your life. What is it that makes you jealous or envious? How is that hurting your happiness and productivity? Most importantly, how can you turn your jealousy into positive energy to bring you closer to your desires?

Why is it that so many intelligent, capable people fail to accomplish their goals? Well, I think there’s a simple answer to that question. In my experience I have found that success is not reached by one specific thing that you do or don’t do. I have found that the key to accomplishing your goals is determined by adapting a mindset of success.

You need to convince yourself that
1) You deserve to be successful
2) Achieving your goals can be fun
3) It doesn’t matter what other people think
4) Obstacles will be part of the process

There are many resources available to help you develop those attitudes. Once you have the proper mindset then I believe that you will be better able to follow through to achieve your goals. Find a way to enjoy the journey and it will be easier to stay on the path to success.

I’ve found that an important philosophy in life is to get comfortable being outside of your comfort zone.  If you have a good idea, then put it into action.  Have confidence in yourself and be willing to take risks.  Thomas Edison said, “Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure.”   Don’t be afraid to stand out from the crowd and stand behind your ideas.

If you don’t believe in you who will?

Pain should be used as a catalyst for change.  Sometimes you need a little discomfort to get you to sit down and examine what it is you really want and what you need to change.  The challenge could be financial, it could be related to problems at work or it could be a conflict in a personal relationship.  I have one of my favorite poems on the wall in my kitchen and I read it often.

Accept the challenges when life tests you.  Keep your struggles in perspective.  Recognize them as opportunities to set new goals and find new ways to achieve your goals.  Professor Randy Rausch from “The Last Lecture” says that brick walls are there to show us how badly we want something.  Don’t let today’s obstacles keep you from realizing your dreams of tomorrow.

Ben Franklin said, “If you would be loved, love and be loveable.” After examining the way I was acting, I realized that I was not making myself likeable, let alone loveable.

I made a conscious decision to be more kind and patient with everyone I came in contact with. I started treating coworkers and friends with more understanding and respect. Soon I found that people were being more pleasant to me. As soon as I started treating people the way I wanted to be treated I found that my relationships improved and there was less stress in my life. This was the Golden Rule put into action, and it worked better than I imagined in my wildest dreams.

Are you getting the respect and understanding from the people around you that you feel you deserve? If not, try taking a closer look at how you are treating them. Let me know if you find that changing the way you interface with the people around you helps to improve the way they treat you.

What most people don’t realize is that allowing uncontrolled venting of your anger can harm you more than the other person.  Think of the driver who gets all worked up while driving in rush hour traffic.  He cuts people off, yells and screams at everyone and no one in particular.  By the time he gets where he is going his blood pressure is through the roof and he is in a foul mood for the rest of the morning.

Decide if you are in control of your situation or if the situation is in control of you.  Be mindful of the fact that all problems are temporary.  Think about the worst problem or embarrassment you ever had.  Think about how upset you were.  Does that problem still bother you today?  Did it still bother you one month after it happened, or even one week?  Probably not.

How do you handle your anger?  Next time something gets you all worked up take a deep breath and mentally step away for a moment.  Ask yourself if this issue is really worth losing your temper over.